Overcome the fear of disappointing others... oneself

Let's look into that fear mindfully + opportunities and cool links

Nov 17, 2022

👋 Hello enthusiast, how are you doing today?

Today let’s deep dive into the Fear of disappointing others

I was a designer for over a decade and realised this fear is instilled into the profession at early stages. No matter the fields, we all face the expectations of others until a point in our lives when this state fades away. Fear or anxiety surrenders to more peace in who we are: as creative beings and creative entrepreneurs.
The fear of disappointing others links to a perception of a lack of experience. It may be what you are currently doing as a job, activity, relationship, or conversation. In a nutshell, fear denotes a lack of confidence in who we are and what we do at a moment.

What I learned from that Fear as a designer
The design field is highly competitive, especially today. Everyone can claim they are a designer and enter the market to share their services.
There is competition at the entry to get the attention of clients. Once you have been shortlisted, there is this idea you cannot disappoint the client.
Some clients have the assumption they can impose themselves into the creative part of the brief and control the outcome. With the use of mood boards, overly hold on to an idea of the project. Not allowing the creative to challenge them and surprise them into possibility.

Today, designers are asked to design following trends more than ever. Statistics and launches of new trends by major companies, mould designers into one revolving trend direction: there is always something new.
It is quite easy for both designers and clients to stay stuck in that loop of ''this is what the market demands''. Choosing to stick to it for any positive results.

Today, I am a creative entrepreneur. Has that Fear vanished?
Or did it make room for confidence at every step?
Are entrepreneurs afraid to disappoint others? That is the question.
The answer is yes but only to some extent. As leaders in what they do, their disappointment first is towards themselves. The work and updates of their services and products rely on their determination to produce their best work following their expectations and dedication.
Creating for people places the bar high. It sheds light on the ethics and leadership of the founders and business owners. The fear is not a fear but a dedication to doing their best work, for they created it.

For me, it is an inside observation, conversation and positioning first. Everything outside may scream ‘‘fear’’ but I know if my inside world does not associate with it, I can overcome it every time it knocks at the door.

Disappointing others not reaching their expectations
’’Expectation’’ is the BIG word in this topic. Who states this is the limit, this is what I want and how I want it to look like or to be like.
The expectation is determined by us accepting to subdue to others' perceptions of who we should be, how we should behave and what we should think. The fear of not reaching someone's expectation highlights the main solution: do you need to reach their expectation?
Why do we accept other people's expectations of who we are or what we ought to do? Why do we commit to it to such an extent that it creates fear of not meeting those expectations?
The answer and clue to how to overcome resides in taking back ownership of that fear. Directing that fear to where it was created in the first place. That fear comes from outside and therefore it is separated from who we truly are. That revelation gives a sense of freedom. Now we can take back full responsibility for accepting pressure and dominion from the outside world.
The ownership of that fear
Is that fear yours? Face why you are afraid of lacking towards others. Ask key questions on that lack, less, gap and get back control of your perception of what you can achieve today. What can we do with fear? Once we face it and dissociate perhaps we can overcome it as a routine.
Fear cannot be the main trigger in the world of entrepreneurship and business. You must go beyond and enter the market and why not craft space in the market? You have no other choice than to overcome or oversee fear. You do it even if it's scary!
Do not be afraid of disappointing others please be their disappointment as long as you don't disappoint yourself
You will disappoint others it is not a possibility it is a fact. There is no cure for that other than accepting it is ok to disappoint others.
That is how we grow. We cannot live by the rules of others all our life, time and ageing will push you into ownership of your life. That positioning will encourage you to step forward and lead by example, even if people don't get you or understand you.
Disappoint not The Self
The fear vanishes once you have taken back ownership. And you accepted the relieving truth: you will and have to disappoint others but do not disappoint yourself.
The real fear is disappointing yourself more by giving others what they expect but not what you need.

The fear of mascarade is the underlying truth behind this fear.

Choose Yourself and whatever comes, decide to be committed to not disappointing Yourself. How do you do that?
To overcome means you have had victory over. The victory happens when you have decided not to surrender to others' perceptions of who you are.
Therefore, discover who you are. If you are doing something give it your all, your intentional 100 %. You are your boss, your teacher and your student. That helps in overcoming the fear, for the fear dissolves for grounded confidence.
If you have given your all into a project, partnership, whatever and you have no regret. You are on the path of reclaiming your power over fear.
Fear and disappointment are not our default
Fear of disappointing others is not your default state. It feels like a revolving war over power inside you. I would recommend you look into your belief systems, trauma or confidence issues you may have and tackle them at the core the best you can.

This piece was featured on Upjourney, you can read all the other mindful experts as well.

🔦 Sending ‘‘brave’’ vibes

🐎 Opportunity knocks

In every letter, I share opportunities I stumbled upon. There are so many cool grants, funding, competitions, and more to enter to experience progress. I hope the list of the week will be useful.

Sustainable residency (calls for artists in six European countries)
Arts Council UK (cool job opportunities listed)
Submit words and art (prose, poetry, art, hybrid)
Greatness Media is hiring (oh yes, it’s the School of Greatness)

What do you think of ‘‘Your creative letter’’?

🤩 Great 👍 Good 😕 Could be better

Pépites Frenchy

🤩 Cool links to click on

Go against expectations it may pay off (Domee Shi - Oscar-winning filmmaker shares her story of believing)
Drippy pots (such cute and playful ceramics by Brian Giniewski)
Avant-garde filmmaker of Freda (reality check movie by Gessica Généus)
Design for good for women (innovative products by Nyungu Afrika)
Sahil you are a Genius (Gumroad’s founder awe’s me each time, what a mind!)

💡 It's a Prompt

Light up your creative fire this week • 💎 Prompt of the week

• You have a formula. Crack its code

No matter the projects, challenges or opportunities you are experiencing.
Look at the patterns of how it appeared in your reality. Is there a pattern?
→ ✏️ write the patterns of your actions before they appear*
→ ✏️ write the patterns of your responses while living them*

* a list of occurrences you have observed, be brutally honest and mindful

Creativity is in every little curious experimentation.
Feel free to share! Have fun!

Yours creatively,
Keva.